Something’s Got To Give

Once again, I am doing poorly at ensuring that I am doing things that I enjoy. Work has become a constant and sucked me into its vapid waters with little chance of me making it to the top to breathe.

A large part of this is due to the current state of my office. It’s like a bomb went off, okay, not really, but to my Type A personality, it might as well have.

I keep telling myself I will get to it later, but inevitable, something more important comes up, so I end up placing it at the bottom of my to-do list.

I hope that since Kim has the kids this weekend, I’ll actually be able to get my office sorted, as it seems I’m able to do the rest of the house, and it’s the one place that’s mine that often gets neglected. Once again, I am pouring from an empty cup, and boy does it show.

I could happily pass out right now, which given my insomnia, is quite rare, but instead, I will be working on completing some of the work items I wasn’t able to tackle today because I am limited to working only 2 hours tomorrow.

Why you ask?

Because I work too damn much, the contract with our client isn’t built to support my working more than 80 hours in a pay period, so if I need to stay late or come in early to accomplish important pending items on my to-do list, then I am forced to account for that by leaving early. I know some would look at my situation and think it fortuitous; I look at it as a major pain in my ass because it prevents me from completing important deliverables.

Eventually, maybe, or hell, if I’m honest, the way things have continued, I’m always going to be one step behind, playing catch up. I suppose that’s the price when there is a catastrophic failure in leadership, and you’re left holding the bag.

All I know is I am circling the drain and if something doesn’t give, I will.

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